The Timewaster Tsunami

Being a pro-domme, it can be the greatest thrill in the world when you get a five star review from a client. Like that feeling of euphoria that comes from when you’ve achieved a lifetime ambition, or successfully shifted enough pounds to be able to snuggly fit into the dream dress you saw while out window shopping. As the country and western song by the Desert Rose Band goes ‘one step forward and two steps back, nobody gets too far like that’. Speaking of not getting too far like that, it’s probably a good idea to tell you about one of the primary banes of being a pro-domme. I am of course referring to the blithe ridden pest and modern day infestation that is, ‘the timewaster’, dam, dam, dammm!

Like with all industries, there’s always the bad apples which stain the image of the freshly picked ones in your supermarket trolley. A message to you my fellow dommes, but I do feel your pain, as I too have been infected with the timewaster bug that shows no signs of slowing down or dissipating. This culminated on a single day of having well in excess of six separate people contact me for my time and attention, only to then vanish into the vast internet ocean faster than a U-Boat being depth-charged. These are the sorts of sadden individuals I like to call ‘the keyboard masturbates’. You know the type I mean; the variant of society that sit on the doll claiming off the government while getting high on free porn.

Trouble is, when you set up a domme profile website with alluring sexual images of yourself in all forms of rather revealing attire, you’re kind of asking for it. Why do I say that; because it’s a common human biological element to sow the seeds so to speak, plus the incredible endorphin rush that you get when your priming yourself to ejaculate. “Why go to a porn website when you can get an erection and ejaculation from just starring at images of a dominatrix on their website” you would think to yourself as you pitch up near to the point of pleasure? ‘Whatever turns you on’ as the old saying goes, for which I have no objection to if that is what makes you happy.

My only request is this, if getting an erection and w**king yourself involves pressing the send button on a session enquiry, that my friend is when you need to seek the help of a psychologist. Masturbating is all well and good, as scientific studies have shown that being able to w**k yourself could enable your body to surpass that of your friends and family, (who knew). Just please for the love of all that’s holy, keep it behind a closed door and not waste your own time as well as mine. I pride myself on having quite an analytical mind, so please don’t think that I can’t spot a w**ker when I see one. (Believe me, I’ve seen enough of them in my time to fill an entire library shelf full of books).

Timewasting as they say is by far the biggest cause of having a loss of earnings for a self employed pro-domme, so it’s not just their feelings you’re hurting, but also their bank accounts as well. Look at it this way, as a vanilla member of society you wouldn’t dare to waste a police officers time, would you? Wasting police time in the UK is a very serious offence which depending on the crime could see you hit with either a very severe community service order, or even go to prison for a considerable period of time. You wouldn’t say call the fire service if you didn’t need saving or even ring the doctor if you were in perfect health. You wouldn’t even wander into a shop if you didn’t want to look at the items on display.

Just remember this folks, you may just be looking at images on a website, but there is a human being behind those images that cares passionately about what they do, so don’t screw them over, ok. So, to be a bit more helpful, I’ve decided to encompass a few tips and tricks in this blog of how I handle the radioactive element which is the timewaster. Timewasters as they say come in all shapes and sizes and can present themselves in all sorts of ways. In my case, I never take a client seriously until I see a session booking in my email inbox, (so it’s worth bearing that in mind before you reach out and speak to me). With that in mind, let me now go down to the booking process.

Stage One – Initial Contact:
When I get a message come into my email inbox, Twitter page or even Fetlife account, I’ve always got an open mind about a client. I never ever go in thinking that a client is a timewaster, that’s rule number one. Any message that starts with ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ is an instant turn off for me. Why, because if you were contacting a professional for a business transaction you would start a message with either, ‘dear sir/madam’. or ‘to whom it may concern’. When a client just sends me ‘hi’ or ‘hello’, it tells me almost immediately that you haven’t bother to make an effort whatsoever. Congratulations my friend, you’ve just earned yourself a one way ticket into the delete folder!

If a client messages me with the response of ‘Dear Mistress Sophie’, or even ‘I wish to session with you Mistress Sophie’, that’s when my senses start to tingle with anticipation. “A client who’s done it properly, how marvellous” I would say to myself before clicking open the email. Be advised folks, just because you’ve made it past my basic training, doesn’t mean that you’re home and dry. I can still get clients at this stage that try to push their luck, or else think they can get away with saying inappropriate terms towards me. These can include anything but not limited to terms like, ‘please Mistress, let me suck your cock’! I’ll let you take a wild guess what the answer will be, but I can guarantee you that it won’t be ‘yes’.

Stage Two – Replies And Secondary Screening
So, you’re got passed the primary stage, now for the secondary screening and engaging a little more with my client. When I say engaging, I don’t mean a continual backwards and forwards of messages whereby I act as if I’m you’re girlfriend or partner. I usually set the limit at ten messages total. That’s ten messages overall, so five from me and five from the client. Failure to book a session within these ten messages results in an immediate banning. When you book up to see me I just need to know three things. What your looking for in a session, a date and time to see me, and how long you wish to see me for. That’s it, that’s all I need, along with any medical information that is relevant.

Trust me, I love to help people as much as the next person does, but I do need to make sure that my time is not being wasted listening to a client drone on about their life story. By all means a client can tell me all about themselves during an aftercare session or before a session starts, but not during an initial primary communication. This I’ve found is the fastest way to kill off a keyboard masturbater. How do I know this you may ask? Answer, you need to take a look at the way they write. If the messages are coming back slowly but with multiple spelling errors in them, then its a clear sign that their knocking one out between each message.

If the messages are coming back quickly and with no grammatical errors, then that person isn’t playing with themselves, but could still just be after nothing more than a bit of free time and attention whilst trying to dodge the session booking payment. By far my ultimate favourite timewaster tactic however is the one that goes along the lines of, ‘I’ll be back soon to book up with you’, only for that person to melt away into thin air like wisps of smoky vapour never to be seen or heard from again. In this case, I always give the client a five day grace to reply and pay up for a session. Failure to do so after this time means they go straight on the blocked list never to be removed from it.

Stage Three – Payment And Session
Even at this very final stage, there are still timewasters. It’s not the first time that a client has made a booking and paid for the session, only to then not show up on the day itself. My advice to any clients who wish to session with me is this. Don’t contact me until A, you’ve read my website, and B, made sure that you have sufficient funds in the bank account for what I’m asking for. Otherwise you’re just wasting your own time as well as my own. Then there is the client who seems to think that by not paying a deposit they will just get a session anyway. Wrong! No sane and rational thinking pro-domme will give you a session for free, especially when they’ve spent a long time getting ready just so you can see them.

Sure, it’s a headache, but if this blog post teaches you anything, it’s that if you are a keyboard masturbator, do what you have to do to make you happy and content in you’re life. By all means type out a message to me in your email drafts folder if that’s what turns you on. But save yourself the embarrassment of being outed as a timewaster by not pressing the send button. I’ve entitled this peace as the ‘timewaster tsunami’ for the simple reason that it can feel like being washed away by wave upon wave of timewaster messages on a day to day basis. Just remember folks, if you respect the domme, then the domme will respect you, regardless of where you’re from or what you do in life.

Stay safe and kinky my friends,
Mistress Sophie

Comments are closed.